My feet had grown by two shoe sizes.
“Is this just normal aging?” I asked the new, improved Alexa, the voice in the small disc on my desk.
Alexa assured me that it was and then added, “Aging is full of surprises.”
She’s right. I’m 91, and I’ve often been brought up short by things I never expected. Anyone over 65 would probably say the same thing.
Here’s a list of changes I never imagined I’d experience:
- My 70s and 80s felt like an extension of middle age. Aging had slowed me down but I could still do almost anything I’d always done. After 90? Not so much.
- When I was younger, I tried not to think about old age, expecting the worst. Instead, these have been some of the best years of my life, and that’s not unusual. One massive study found that not only are most people happier in later life than they were when they were younger but the older they were, the more positive they felt.
- Nobody warned me that time seems to pass much more quickly in later life. It feels that way to most older people, and scientists have theories about why.
- I’m delighted that I no longer have to shave my legs but not at all pleased with the stubborn sprinkling of hairs on my chin. Normal hormonal changes are responsible.
- I’m still a night owl, but that’s unusual. Most people turn into morning larks beginning in their 60s, are awake at the crack of dawn and ready for bed early in the evening.
- I had no idea that I’d lose several inches in height as the discs between my vertebrae compressed, flattened by 91 years of walking upright. But I’m not shorter everywhere—I needed a whole new wardrobe of (larger) shoes, thanks to my fallen arches.
- Based on family history, I expected to wear hearing aids eventually, but I didn’t expect that taste and smell would also diminish, and that strong-tasting foods I once hated—like bleu cheese and mustard—would become favorites.
- I had no idea the hearing aids I’d wear would reduce the likelihood that I’d develop dementia, but research has confirmed that.
- Logically, I knew that my children would grow older, but it’s startling to realize that I’m now the mother of a 60-year-old.
- Although I was determined that my children would never have to take care of me when I was old, I find I actually like it when they step in now to help me with things I can no longer do easily. I don’t feel helpless and grumpy, I feel loved.
- I enjoy writing and editing, so I haven’t retired yet, but most of my friends are enjoying their work-free years. We were all surprised to learn that, according to a number of studies, retiring may not be good for your health, and it’s better to delay it if you can.
- I didn’t realize that normal aging can create problems for your memory that don’t qualify as dementia but are a nuisance all the same. Don’t ask me for the name of the book I just read or of the person I was just introduced to. Unless I make a real effort to remember, nouns like those skip in one ear and exit the other.
- I was always afraid I’d be filled with fear near the end of my life, knowing my time was almost up. Dying still scares me but much less than when I was younger, and that’s not just me. Time and again, studies have found that older people are less afraid of death than those who are younger.
- Most of all, it surprises me that I’m in my 90s. My mother died at 50, and I expected to check out long before this. But here I am—and grateful for these bonus years at the end of a good, long life.
Flora Davis has written scores of magazine articles and is the author of five nonfiction books, including the award-winning Moving the Mountain: The Women’s Movement in America Since 1960 (1991, 1999). She currently lives in a retirement community and continues to work as a writer.
