They’re Not Well and They’re All Alone

What happens to older people who have no family to turn to?

More and more seniors have no relatives—nobody who can be available to help them if they develop medical problems. Journalist Sharon Jayson reports on this dilemma and why it’s so important. Jayson’s article was published in Kaiser Health News on November 28, 2016, and also ran in USA Today.

Phyllis Krantzman knows what she should do, but like many of her peers, the 71-year-old doesn’t know how to approach a casual acquaintance to ask who will take care of her when she needs it most.

Krantzman, of Austin, TX, is among a growing number of seniors who find themselves alone just when aging and end-of-life care become real. [She’s] unmarried, with no children—her younger sister, by seven years, died in 2014. Krantzman’s social network is limited to a handful of work colleagues and a few acquaintances.

“I’m very fearful of when I reach that place in my life when I really need help and maybe can’t take care of myself anymore,” she said. “I have nobody to turn to.”

Krantzman represents a universe that’s come to be known among geriatric specialists as “elder orphans”—seniors with no relatives to help them deal with physical and mental health challenges. Their rising numbers prompted the American Geriatrics Society to unveil guidelines for a segment of these older adults who can no longer make their own medical decisions and have no designated surrogates. The nonprofit dubbed them “unbefriended” and called for a national effort to help prevent a surge among incapacitated seniors who don’t have a decision-maker and face a health crisis.

Americans are spending less time than ever in the married state, which raises questions about who’s going to care for these people as they age and experience health declines.

Single seniors have always existed, but demographic and social changes have slowly transformed aging America. In 1900, average life expectancy was 47. Now, the combination of increased longevity, the large and graying baby boom generation, the decline in marriage, the rise in divorce, increased childlessness and family mobility has upended the traditional caregiving support system.

Among the indicators:

  • A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report this year shows the number of Americans more than 100 years old increased almost 44 percent between 2000 to 2014.
  • Twenty-two percent of people over age 65 are—or risk becoming—elder orphans, according to a 2015 study by New York geriatrician Maria Torroella Carney.
  • A US Census report from 2014 projected [that] by 2050, the 65-and-older population will be 83.7 million—almost double the 2012 estimate of 43.1 million.
  • The nonprofit Population Reference Bureau in Washington, DC, reported earlier this year that family provides more than 95 percent of informal care for older adults who aren’t in nursing homes.

“Americans are spending less time than ever in the married state,” said Susan Brown of the National Center for Family & Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University in Ohio, which “raises questions about who’s going to care for these people as they age and experience health declines.”

Reference Bureau demographer Mark Mather said the combination of aging boomers and family dislocation is creating “a potential caregiving crisis or at least major challenges down the road.”

The oldest boomers are now 70. With more on the horizon, the impact of smaller family size will become more pronounced: baby boomers had fewer children than previous generations and significant numbers are childless, said demographer Jonathan Vespa, of the US Census.

“As people have fewer children, there are fewer people in that next generation to help take care of that older generation,” he said.

New 2015 US Census data also reflects more elders who live alone—42.8 percent of those 65 and older. Yet new twists have emerged, such as cohousing, in which people live independently in housing clusters with a common building for meals and socializing. Such thinking, said gerontologist Jan Mutchler, of the University of Massachusetts Gerontology Institute in Boston, suggests a “shift [in] the way people are thinking about who can I rely on and who’s going to be there for me.”

Katie McGrail, 77, spent much of her working life in San Antonio or New York, finally retiring to Texas five years ago. McGrail and her friends daydream about “having these little houses around the spoke of a wheel and at center have a nurse and a good cook.”

People in general avoid planning for unpleasant things.

–Jan Mutchler, PhD

Mary Gleason, 85, is an unmarried only child with no children. She’s lived on St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands for 51 years, where she developed a close group of “extremely supportive friends.” Most, she said, are five to 15 years younger, which proved important in January when Gleason had open heart surgery.

“That was it,” she said, noting she never talked about future care. “Now that I’m feeling so much better, I try to keep away from discussing that kind of stuff.”

It’s a mindset Mutchler knows well.

“People in general avoid planning for unpleasant things,” she said. “A lot of people don’t have wills or think about long term care or what they would do if they needed it.”

Timothy Farrell, a physician and associate professor at the University of Utah School of Medicine in Salt Lake City, who worked on the [new American Geriatrics Society guidelines], said he would “regularly encounter patients with no clear surrogate decision-maker.”

The guidelines include “identifying ‘non-traditional’ surrogates—such as close friends, neighbors, or others who know a person well.”

Boosting social ties among elders is part of a national campaign launched … by the AARP Foundation and the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging, a nonprofit. The aim is to combat loneliness.

Krantzman says insomnia, which has plagued her for decades, has deepened her isolation.

“I had to give up having close friends and that is one of the reasons why I find myself so alone,” she said.

Although she works part time and lives in a government complex for low-income seniors, Krantzman said the computer she bought at age 62 has expanded her reach to connect with others.

“The computer is so important to me because I have so few people in my life,” she said. “Having the computer thoroughly altered my entire life.”

Boomerang Seniors—They’re Moving to Be Near Mom or Dad

Their goal: to enjoy retirement while caring for parents who need help

What happens when people who are already in their later years have parents who are even older—and need a caregiver? Reporter Sharon Jayson investigates one possible solution. She wrote this article for Kaiser Health News, which posted it on April 3, 2017. It also ran in USA Today.

Like many peers in their 70s, Lois and Richard Jones of Media, PA, sold their home and downsized, opting for an apartment in a nearby senior living community they had come to know well. For 13 years, they have visited Lois’ mother, Madge Wertzberger, there.

Wertzberger, 95, is in assisted living at Granite Farms Estates. Lois, 73, and Richard, 76, who have been married 56 years, moved into an adjoining building in October.

“It wouldn’t take me more than three minutes to walk to where she is,” said Lois. “I don’t have to drive anywhere to help her or to meet with her [medical] team. I’m right here.”

The Joneses are great-grandparents. Yet they’re among a growing group of seniors with a living parent which means these 21st-century, postretirement years might well include parental caretaking. Expectations are altered amid the new reality of longer life expectancy and growing numbers of aged Americans.

“I pop in when I need to take something to her or discuss things. We see each other minimally once a week, and it can be more,” Jones said. “My youngest sister normally takes her to the doctor, but I do some sharing on that. Just because I’m here doesn’t mean I have to take her to her doctor’s appointments.”

When you retire, you hope for a new freedom from responsibility, but if you have very old parents, that just doesn’t happen.

Caregiving for an older family member is not what it was when [it was] first studied and the term “sandwich generation” [was coined for] those people squeezed between aging parents and young children, said Amy Horowitz, a professor of social work at Fordham University in New York City.

“Now it’s the children who are on the verge of retirement or who have retired and are still having responsibility [for] older parents,” she said. “In New York City, I know somebody whose almost-90-year-old mother is living in the same apartment building. It becomes, how do you balance your own life?”

Kathrin Boerner, an associate professor of gerontology at the University of Massachusetts, Boston, discovered a recurring theme in her research on centenarians and their adult children—that is, very old parents and their elderly children. Even if their children are not direct caregivers, they still must monitor their parents’ welfare.

“With the demographics we’re looking at, I refer to it as ‘aging together,’—the parent-child constellation will be a lot more frequent,” Boerner said.

“For a lot of people, that is the time—if you’re in good enough health—you hope for a time of greater freedom. You’re past all the other caregiving tasks and, for most people, they can dedicate to their own needs,” Boerner said. “But for those with very old parents, it just doesn’t happen.”

In her 2015 presentation at the Gerontological Society of America, she noted, “The very old are the fastest-growing segment of the population in most developed countries, with an expected increase of 51 percent of elders, age 80 plus, between 2010 and 2030.” And two-thirds of these very old have advanced-aged children, who typically serve as their primary caregiver.

“We heard things from someone like an 80-year-old—‘I don’t have a life.’ Imagine that. You’re 80 years old, and ‘I don’t have a life because I’m caring for my mother,’” Boerner said.

Sometimes, it’s the older adult child with more health issues than the parent.

Carol Pali, 71, moved into Fort Washington Estates in Fort Washington, PA, in October 2014, prompted by a diagnosis of multiple myeloma, a blood cancer, around the same time she retired from full-time teaching.

“It got to a point where I was in and out of the hospital all the time,” she said. “I just decided I might as well move in here too. It’s better than having to take care of the house.”  

On the rise: the number of people of retirement age who have moved into a continuing care community to be near parents who already live there.

Pali had lived in a townhouse around the corner from the community, where her mother, Peg Henrys, who [had] turned 97 [recently], had moved three years earlier.

“My mom moved from New Jersey to be closer to me,” she said.

Mother and daughter are in the independent-living section of Fort Washington Estates, about 25 miles north of Philadelphia.

“We get to see each other every day at dinner time, but she’s got her life here and I’ve got mine. We’re not with each other all the time,” Pali said.

“She’s in better shape than I am,” Pali said. “I had non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma before. And my mom has nothing, except she can’t hear very well.”

Fort Washington Estates is part of Acts Retirement-Life Communities, a suburban Philadelphia-based company operating continuing-care, senior-living communities in eight states, serving nearly 9,000 residents. Costs vary by location, type of community, occupants and contract, according to Acts spokesman Michael Smith.

Fees at Fort Washington are lower than the company average of $245,000 for the entrance fee and $2,800 a month, he said. At Fort Washington, the entrance fee starts at $140,000 and the monthly fee is $2,486. Smith said monthly fees do not increase with higher levels of care.

Theresa Perry, Acts’ corporate director of wellness services, said such parent-child arrangements are on the rise at their communities.

“They can keep an eye on Mom or Dad and don’t have to travel from where they lived,” Perry said. “It makes a big difference to them knowing the family is so close, and they can just walk over to visit.”

Jones, of Media, said she and her two sisters (one lives 10 minutes away; the other, 40 minutes away) have a weekly knitting date with their mother.

“We all knit and spend a good portion of the day with her,” Jones said of the Thursday sessions.

She also stays busy with Bible study, church services and programs featuring professors from local colleges—all on-site.

“We have joined in so many of the activities here,” she said. “We have a whole new social group. There are a lot of activities we participate in here at Granite Farms, but we haven’t given up our outside friends or activities.”

Jones said she and her husband sought to escape from the worries associated with a larger home and assume control over their future while they could. Living near her mother lets them blend caregiving with a relatively carefree lifestyle.

“We were looking to exchange responsibility for fun,” she said.